I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
