We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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