"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
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