they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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