yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
