My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A+ Viking dick
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