Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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