I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
