I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
