He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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