i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
its liver damage thursday
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
