What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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