It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
