So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
