I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
