why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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