I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
