I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
