she was so not down for the gang bang
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
