you would pick up someone in the library
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
