I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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