Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize