So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
