I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
