3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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