Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
