So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
