maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
