just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
