I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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