As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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