whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
