I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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