dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
