Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
