butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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