Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
