is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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