Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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