So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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