i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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