Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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