So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
