Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
