google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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