plz talk dirty to me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
