I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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