can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My cat gives me a boner
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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