Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
