if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
