my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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