she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
