Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
