I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
