It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
