i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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