Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
