This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
