sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
two words...techno handjob
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
