i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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