Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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