I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so let's talk penis.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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