we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
