i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
