ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
