btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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