He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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