You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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