Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
